#36 Thoughts

The mind seems to be anywhere else but here at the present. It isn’t just about being easily distracted, it’s more about restlessness and the state of being uninspired. Inspiration seems quite underrated, even disregarded in schools back home. I never really pondered upon how important inspiration was until recently. I knew I wasn’t constantly browsing pretty pictures for the sake of it but there had to be something more to it. Sure, pictures are more aesthetically-pleasing than academic writings but they have such a visual impact in terms of driving home a message. I’ve never really had a ‘defined’ interest or rather, an interest or passion that ‘defined’ who I was. I’m not a dancer, nor am I a musician because the ability to play the piano doesn’t necessarily qualify me as one. Nor am I an artist or sportswoman. I’ve always been one to float from one to the other, something like the jack of all trades but master of none. Or more like ‘dabbler of some but master of none’. The love of reading and writing is probably the closest to such.
Yet I can’t help but feel like I’m yearning for more. It’s almost as if I need something to kick-start my life or a sudden stroke of inspiration to get me going. I’ve got aspirations but they remain mostly as dreams, never reaching the degree of ambition. My goal in life isn’t an occupation, it’s being able to do what I love, to find meaning in all I do and to build others up. Aspirations I’ve got like traveling and exploring new places, taking up photography and nurturing what little creativity I have within me that’s left after 12 years of rigid formal education. For once, I’d like to be really good at something I enjoy.
At the risk of sounding like someone who takes herself too seriously, I’ve thought about why I really want to take up photography as a hobby. It started off as admiration for those who photograph well but gradually it evolved into a more acute appreciation for good photographs. When I was a kid, my idea of a well-taken photograph was one that included the subjects in the frame and was not blurry. And now, though I do not profess to know all about photography, I find myself being drawn to photographs that capture beauty in anything and everything. The world looks different through photographic lenses, drawing our attention to what we usually overlook in our everyday lives. I feel like I’ve reached the level of desire for a good camera that I’ve begun trawling photography websites in search of reviews for Canon Powershots and DSLRs. This may seem pretty normal for the average person interested in something but I’ve always been too lazy to do research on anything at all unless I absolutely have no choice. This would be a rather extravagant self-indulgence, I’ll need to mull over this some more :s
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