#17 Hours

The weekend is finally here, phew! It’s not so much the workload that gets me down but rather the knowledge of time put to uses that aren’t exactly optimal. Hours on the cyberspace fly by so quickly that before I know it, it’s time for bed. Lost hours make me go to bed with a guilty heart each night. Trust me, it’s not a pleasant feeling knowing that you could have spent your time on more productive things. I do wonder if I would make better use of my time under a busier schedule. Some people work better under pressure, using pockets of free time to get through their list of to-dos.
Stewards of time. Such a tall order. I find myself side-stepping from reality, losing myself in an alternative realm. Life’s more bearable that way sometimes, although that’s not to say it’s unbearable now. Some people are able to live in the present and fully engage with reality. Others need to daydream, shifting from one timeframe to another in their heads. Yep I confess I’m a dreamer. I must admit that it distracts me from things that clamour for my attention in the present, more than is necessary at times. But on the whole, it keeps me going. It keeps me looking ahead, reminding me of the larger picture that is life.

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Conscious and deliberate injection of optimism doses on a daily basis, as I’ve come to realise, helps a great deal. I never really embraced that concept previously because I thought it presented a false sense of hope and a happiness that was contrived. Having said that, i guess it all boils down to the choice we have on the way we live our lives. It’s not limited to a on-off choice made at the start of a new chapter in life but a daily one made at the start of a brand-new day. Remind ourselves to leave behind the guilt of having wasted time, the worries of the future for worry and anxiety does nothing but affect what could potentially be an awesome day (:
Somewhere amongst doing laundry & essays, writing letters, feeding my stomach with snacks {my sustenance when i’m doing work}, spending time with loved ones on Skype, going grocery shopping {oh man..}, I need to pause, breathe and remind myself that no time is wasted as long as I’m doing any of the above. Oh. And read The Independent which I bought yesterday and so far, only read the first two pages. I’m awfully slow when it comes to reading newspapers. So. No aesthetic distractions for me this weekend.
I think. {crosses fingers}
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